What Is Love?
by SasuHiroki
Summary: NaruGaa with past SasuNaruSasu. Shounen-ai. Ending is sappy and the story itself is definitely unrealistic. Read if you wish.


_A/N: I wrote this story about a year ago or so and I'm not too confident about it, but I'm posting it anyway. Definite OOC-ness on most characters' parts and also the context is in an alternate universe. Possibly too much pointless dialogue, undeveloped plot and the ending is very sappy... in my opinion. The paragraphs and layout look a bit weird too. Oh, and sorry for the cliched title. xD; Um, any criticism is welcome.  
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__**' is for thought.  
" is for speech.**_

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'He wouldn't know what it's like… and I'm probably not even going to see him again, but why can't I stop thinking about him? Why!?'

Fourteen year old, Naruto Uzumaki, who was turning fifteen in October, was troubling himself with confused thoughts. He'd fallen in love with a certain red head that he'd met earlier that summer, and he'd been having dreams about that boy. His name was Gaara and he was Naruto's age.

The two met when Naruto was upset and running. He and his boyfriend, or now ex-boyfriend, Sasuke Uchiha, had broken up. It was more Naruto's choice, but he was still heartbroken. He decided to end it because he started to feel distant and there were some things that he knew Sasuke, who he was together with for two years, wouldn't tell him. No matter how hard he begged and pleaded, Sasuke wouldn't tell him what was bothering him and why he'd become more distant and blanked out. Naruto was still haunted by the picture of Sasuke's face when Naruto broke up with him. Sasuke was heart broken. He was crushed. He'd lowered his head and his fringe covered his face. Naruto couldn't see Sasuke's face, but tears dripped onto the ground and Naruto knew that he was crying. Naruto felt so upset with himself that he'd decided to run. He'd tried to run away from the guilt, but he couldn't. He ended up in the park, crying, and that's when Gaara appeared.

At first the red head stared at the blond, wondering what was wrong. Naruto had noticed his presence and looked up. He dried his eyes and gave Gaara a questioning look.

"What's wrong?" Gaara had asked quietly.

"Nothing," Naruto replied, averting his eyes.

"You can tell me… it can't be that bad," Gaara said.

So Naruto took a deep breath and started explaining everything, and that's when he and Gaara shared a bond. Sasuke and Naruto had shared a similar bond, but it was still different.

'Well, the school year's about to start… so I can forget about him,' Naruto thought sighing. He was in for a shock.

"Hey, Naruto!" an excited Kiba Inuzuka called out to his best friend, from one side of the busy classroom.

"Hey, Kiba!" Naruto replied with the same enthusiasm.

"Had a good holiday?" Kiba asked, cocking his head to the side.

"Not really," Naruto sighed.

"Aw, that's too bad… tell me about it after school, 'kay? We can go out and watch some people…" Kiba trailed off.

"You mean, cute guy spotting?" Naruto asked. He was bi, but preferred boys and Kiba was gay.

"Yeah," Kiba smiled his dog-like grin.

"What about Neji?" Naruto asked. Neji Hyuuga was Kiba's boyfriend of two years.

"He has to go to an eye appointment with Hinata," Kiba explained. The Hyuuga's tended to get a rare lavender iris for their eye colour, and their pupils were hard to see. Though, they had brilliant eyes. They could see everything. No faults, nothing.

"I heard my name come up," Neji said coming over to Naruto and Kiba.

"I was just telling Naruto how you have to go with Hinata to an eye appointment," Kiba explained.

"Oh, right," Neji said.

Then, their teacher came in. His name was Mr. Iruka Umino, but all the teachers let the kids call them by their first names.

"Guys settle down, class is starting. Welcome to your first day of Year Ten," Iruka called the class to order. He called the roll.

"Uchiha, Sasuke?" Iruka called. No one answered.

'Damn, Sasuke's gonna be in my class,' Naruto thought to himself.

"Okay, we'll continue and see if he comes in by the end of form," Iruka said, before continuing the roll.

"Gaara?" Iruka called. No answer.

'Gaara? As in the red head?' Naruto asked himself frantically.

"Again, we'll wait until the end of form," Iruka muttered.

Five minutes before form finished, Sasuke and Gaara came in. Gaara gave his late slip to Iruka. He was late because he was new to school and had to be shown around.

Sasuke was late to school because he didn't want to attend school and face Naruto, but he ended up going and having to take Gaara to his classes.

Naruto looked his ex-boyfriend up and down. Sasuke was wearing black skinny jeans, a tight Panic At The Disco band shirt, black converse, wristbands on both arms, a studded belt, eyeliner, and he was wearing his fringe parted to the right side of his face so it fell over his right eye. He'd obviously straightened it, to make it fall that way. Sasuke usually wore his hair like that when he was upset, or going to a really big gig or something, but he usually kept his hair in its natural style. Naruto immediately knew that Sasuke was upset from the eyeliner rimming his eyes and the hair style. Naruto felt guilty straight away. Sasuke's eyes quickly flickered to Naruto, pain flashing in his eyes at the sight of his former lover. Sasuke lowered his eyes to the ground while walking to an empty desk at the back of the room. Naruto had to admit, he felt hurt himself. He still had feelings for Sasuke, but he wasn't happy with the distant feeling that suddenly started coming along whenever he asked Sasuke a personal question. He knew Sasuke was secretive, but he usually wasn't that secretive around Naruto. And although Sasuke had problems with depression and his bad past, he used to be able to tell Naruto everything.

--

At lunch, Naruto went up to Gaara and said hi.

"Hi Gaara," Naruto said.

"Naruto, right?" Gaara confirmed.

"Yeah, what are you doing here?" Naruto asked.

"We just moved here," Gaara said.

"Oh, that's great! Is there anyone showing you around?" Naruto asked.

"Oh, sorry, yeah. Sasuke's showing me around," Gaara said.

"Oh," Naruto choked the response out.

"I've gotta go report back to the front office, so… I'll see you later," Gaara said, smiling slightly and leaving in the direction of the front office. Naruto sighed and walked in the opposite direction.

He went to the top of the main school building. The last time he'd been there was at the start of the previous year. He decided that it would be his place to hang out. He sat in the shade and started thinking. He stayed there until the bell rang.

After school, Gaara met up with Naruto and they went for a walk while talking and telling each other about themselves.

"So, who's your ex?" Gaara asked.

"Sasuke," Naruto stated uncomfortably.

"Sasuke?" Gaara asked in astonishment.

"Yeah," Naruto nodded.

"But you're so different," Gaara said.

"Well, we're different, but we're friends. If an outsider came along, they'd pair you and Sasuke together and leave me out of the equation," Naruto said.

"So, is he usually like that?" Gaara asked.

"No, he's usually better; less depressed. He's the only one left of his family. His family was killed instantly in a plane crash; he and his older brother were the only ones to survive unharmed, but his older brother recently committed suicide due to depression. His family died when he was eight. He's now fifteen… well, turning fifteen - he's currently fourteen, like the rest of us. He and his brother lived together in a close bond for about six years, and his brother, Itachi, killed himself only about two months ago. It's still a tough time for him, but that wasn't why he suddenly went all distant. He'd been distant for two months prior. Maybe he found out what Itachi was planning to do? Or maybe he was also planning it as well? But I hope he doesn't do it…" Naruto said, ending on a low note.

"Wow. That's sad," Gaara said.

"Yeah, well, what was your past like?" Naruto asked.

"I was raised by my uncle - my dad's rich, but he's sending us here to study. So we live in this apartment for three. My uncle tried to kill me and I can't feel much emotion. I mean, I can, but, I haven't felt some of them. Uh, and my siblings are scared of me," Gaara said.

"Oh, I was hated. I grew up without parents and I played tricks and pranks to get attention - that led to me being hated. Sasuke was the one who undid all that and made me a normal boy who's known for himself, and not what he did as a little kid," Naruto said.

"Looks like we're a bunch of pretty messed up kids. Especially Sasuke. I feel pretty bad for him," Gaara grimaced.

"Yeah, so do I," Naruto said.

They'd arrived in an empty park, and they sat on the park bench talking; making their friendship stronger. Naruto looked around once and saw Sasuke walking by, looking at them, agony in his eyes. After that, Naruto was too scared to look at anyone, but Gaara, in fear that he'd see something that he really didn't want to see.

--

The next day, Naruto returned back to the rooftop to hang out, but there was another presence there. Sasuke's. And he was standing on the edge of the building where no one, except Naruto, could see him. Naruto felt a cold, sick feeling run through him. Sasuke looked extremely suspicious. Sasuke had sensed Naruto come up, so he took a deep breath, and raised one foot to step off the edge.

"No!" Naruto shouted, and ran towards Sasuke pulling him back.

"What are you doing!?" Naruto exclaimed. Sasuke didn't answer, he diverted his eyes to the ground.

"Sasuke, I'm sorry, but why?" Naruto said.

"Why are you even bothering?" Sasuke said, somewhat angrily.

"Because, I care about you," Naruto answered.

"Why?" Sasuke whispered.

"I wouldn't have dated you if I didn't like you," Naruto said.

"Why'd you break up with me?" Sasuke said, his voice becoming softer and softer.

"You were… you were being really distant, and I know that Itachi just left you and everything, but you can usually tell me things like this," Naruto said.

"I can't… help it," Sasuke was almost inaudible.

"Sasuke, why were you being so distant in the first place?" Naruto asked.

"I was… why do you care about me now?" Sasuke asked.

"Because, even though I broke up with you, it hurt me to leave you. Sasuke, I still like you. I just couldn't handle the distance between us," Naruto said, grimacing.

"I was distant because… I was really depressed. Itachi had told me what he was planning, and was making things hard for me. He was torturing me with his empty eyes, and saying that he was going to kill himself months before he did," Sasuke explained.

"Sasuke," Naruto started, he looked down and found that the sleeve of Sasuke's hoodie was pushed up slightly.

"What!?" he exclaimed. He pushed the sleeve up further, revealing a red, scarred forearm.

"Sasuke, when did you start doing this?" Naruto asked, hoping that he wasn't the cause.

"About two months… before Itachi's death," Sasuke said, slowly.

"Sasuke, you should have told me! Then I wouldn't have been so clueless," Naruto said.

"But, I didn't want you to be worried… or sad," Sasuke said.

"You were making me sad by distancing yourself," Naruto said.

"When you broke up with me… I didn't want to live anymore. There was no reason… Naruto… I love you…" Sasuke mumbled, tears starting to fall from his eyeliner rimmed eyes.

"Sasuke, I'm sorry," Naruto apologised, feeling bad.

"And, you don't love me anymore… so there's no reason not to die," Sasuke said, in between harsh, ragged breaths.

"Sas-" Naruto got cut off.

"You shouldn't care about me. You have Gaara now… he should be the only one you care about now," Sasuke said, bitterly.

"I do care about you and I still like you, and I'd be really sad if you died," Naruto said.

"Sure. I have no one that really cares about me… like you did… and you probably don't care about me like that anymore," Sasuke sobbed.

"Sasuke, I do care about you, I'm your friend. I care about you heaps," Naruto said, pulling Sasuke into a hug.

"Yeah… but no one else does," Sasuke said, resting his head on Naruto's shoulder.

Sasuke decided he would do it. Even though Naruto said he cared for him, things wouldn't be the same.

--

Sasuke went into the room that his brother had killed himself in. Tears were rolling down his sorrowful, pale face. Using the same knife, Sasuke positioned it at his rapidly beating heart, before pushing it in quickly, and drawing it out. Blood gushed from the wound. Sasuke had less than a minute, he took the gun that had made his brother's death final, and put it to his temple. He braced himself and pulled the trigger, and a bullet came whistling out with a bang. The gun fell from his limp hand. The moment it entered his head, was the moment his heart stopped beating, and the second he stopped breathing. He was dead; gone. He would now be reunited with his family, and beloved brother.

--

Naruto was in the park again, with Gaara, when he heard a gunshot.

"What was that?" he wondered.

"Sounded like a gun," Gaara murmured.

"It came from that direction… shit! Sasuke lives in that direction," Naruto said, getting up suddenly.

"What?" Gaara said, standing.  
"I'll explain on the way, we have to go!" Naruto said, the rushed words almost jumbled.

The two boys ran towards the Uchiha mansion. They ran through the unlocked front gates and front door.

"This place is huge. Where would he be?" Naruto asked frantically.

"You said his brother died, right?" Gaara asked, quite calmly.

"Yeah," Naruto confirmed.

"Which room?" Gaara asked.

"Their parents' bedroom," Naruto said.

"Where is it? Let's go," Gaara mumbled.

"Genius!" Naruto exclaimed.

Both boys went upstairs and into the open hallway. There were many rooms, Naruto recognised Sasuke's room, and Itachi's room.

"That one! The one with the door slightly open," Naruto said, pointing.

He and Gaara walked towards the door, and braced themselves as they pushed it open.

It was a gruesome sight. There was Naruto's former love, lying on the floor in a pool of blood, spilt by taking his own life.

"No!" Naruto cried, tears welled in his eyes and trickled down his cheeks, dripping onto the wooden floor. Gaara comforted him.

"He thought I didn't care about him," Naruto sobbed, more tears finding their way onto his cheeks, as his breathing became sharp and uneven. Naruto's knees gave way and he fell to the floor. Gaara kneeled next to him.

"Naruto, Sasuke's chosen what he thought would be best for him and everyone else. You told me that he thought he's worthless no matter what, right? Well, he's acted on his feelings," Gaara said.

"He thinks that none of us care about him… he didn't believe me," Naruto sobbed.

"And he thought it would be better if he joined his family… and the brother he loved so much. He wanted to end his pain and that's a lot for him. I bet that, even if he had everything he wanted, except for his family, he'd still be upset and depressed," Gaara said.

"He thought that I didn't care about him like I did. He thought that I didn't like him anymore," Naruto choked.

"Well, is it true?" Gaara asked.

"I still care about him, but… not in the way I did. But I still like him. How do you know all this?" Naruto coughed.

"I can understand what he's going through and feeling, but I haven't felt it myself. I'm very perceptive and understanding… surprisingly, that's one thing regarding emotions that I'm good at… though, I wouldn't be able to name the emotions all the time," Gaara said.

"I wish… that I could do that… so I could have helped him more," Naruto whispered, bowing his head.

"Naruto, you did the best that you could, and there was nothing more thoughtful that you could do. You tried your best, and that counts for everything. It makes all the difference in the world that you tried. Even if you fail, it still changes everything… and even though you tried, I know that at this moment, and the moment you broke up with him… it hurt right here to watch him like that. I know that it hurt to watch him go through all the pain he suffered every day," Gaara said, putting his hand over his heart.

"Yeah, it ached… and I cried every night. Sasuke, he was… jealous of you," Naruto said.

"Why?" Gaara asked.

"Because I averted my attention to you," Naruto said.

"What does that mean?" Gaara asked.

"Gaara," Naruto said, his tearstained face, and red, rimmed eyes level with Gaara's pale face, and eyeliner rimmed eyes.

"What am I feeling?" Gaara asked.

"How do you feel?" Naruto whispered, his head moving closer.

"I feel… like there are heaps of things wriggling around in my stomach… I feel… happy… and safe… and attached. I feel like my heart's trying to pull me to you," Gaara murmured.

"Gaara, you're feeling love. That's what it is… and that's what you're feeling for the first time ever… and I'm truly happy… that it's me," Naruto whispered, and their lips collided. Suddenly, it felt like fireworks went off. Everything around them was dulled and their senses were weak, except for their feelings for each other. Those blazed more fiery than ever before, blocking out everything. One kiss changed it all, and they knew, that they were meant for each other. They knew that they would get through this mourning period for Sasuke, together; they knew that they'd go through ups and downs together, and they knew that they'd always be emotionally connected as one. What one felt, the other felt, and that one kiss, gave Gaara every emotional experience that Naruto had felt. In that one kiss, they shared everything. What's Naruto's was now Gaara's and what was Gaara's was now Naruto's. They had each other's body, mind, soul, and of course, each other's hearts.


End file.
